RANT.

love is many many things and i know jack shit about any of them
but what i can tell you
is that love isnt:

coming home to a cold house and looking for too-warm arms
and not finding them and having to create a sort of human cocoon,
shivering inside myself until i just fall into a chaotic sleep

or

looking in the mirror and pressing up against it because i'm my only friend
and feeling cold hard glass and realising i'm
just a cold hard girl

or

not feeling beautiful or graceful or socially competent
and having no one there
to build me a pretty, synthetic skin woven out of sweet words
and compliments.


so let's cut this shit and
stop acting like we know each other
when in reality it is only i who made the effort
to know you.

love isn't this.
this isn't love.
i'm done.